“You are not your past and you can create your tomorrow”

It’s that time of year!  A week to a couple weeks into January all you see and hear about is goals.  Are you like me and tried to set goals only to end up feeling a bit like a failure because you did not reach those goals?  95% of those that make a resolution to lose weight regain it and a large percentage gain back more than they lost.  25% of the population abandons their New Year’s Resolutions after one week.  60% abandon their resolution within 6 months.  The average person makes the same resolution 10 separate times without success.


So if we have decided to make this the best year ever, how do we do it without failing again?  Last week my blog posting talked about things we want to let go of to ensure a better New Year.  If you have not read that yet, please do so. ( You can do that here)  I want to add a few more items to that list from last week.  First, remove all distractions, stop procrastinating.  Remove all subscriptions in that email box that do not provide any value to you.  Free yourself and your time.  This is a really cool tool to help you do that. Unroll .   Personally, I was surprised I could unsubscribe (675 unsubscribed for me) with a simple click.  Then emails I was not ready to unsubscribe from  to go to a roll up that I receive daily (425)  That left me with 177 subscriptions in my box.  You will be surprised at how many you have as well.

Second, remove old folders and files on your computer that you are not using.  If you do not want them removed, at least put those on an external hard drive.  Third is donating all of your old books that are not of value right now.  (This is hard for me as well, but they are a distraction)  Last is pitch old papers that you do not need.  Get rid of them, remove the distractions and then settle down to work.

Now I want to share the characteristics of people who get what they want

  • Believe you can win!  The right mindset is critical.  We have to believe it is possible to win or accomplish what we want.  We tend to put ourselves in a mindset of self-fulfilling prophecies that determine whether they will happen or not.  Meanwhile, positive thinking will give us more physical and mental energy, will guard us from self-defeat and actually inspire us to be creative and effective in solving problems.




  • Get past the past!  I shared the exact same thing last week and it is important enough to repeat. Let it go! Holding onto that past actually causes you to put limitations on yourself.  Your past cannot keep you from moving forward.  This does not mean that you are supposed to walk around and deny it.  I had cancer two years ago.  That entire experience changed me and how I view life.  It may have been meant for evil, but I saw a lot of good come out of that experience.  I am quite confident my husband will say the same about his heart attack.  But this does not just apply to physical problems.  Maybe you failed or had to file for bankruptcy.  I understand being hesitant when your confidence has been shaken.  That does not have to keep you from moving forward unless you want to allow it. Make those previous problems or mistakes “dues that you are paying to succeed on your journey.”


Your future does not equal your past. ~Tony Robbins.

  • Get past the intentions.  Be specific in your goals.  Using weight loss as an example, saying you want to lose 100 pounds in a year is too broad.  Set a goal instead of 50 pounds by June.  If need be break it down even further.  If you are specific, that will help you to be more laser –focused and much closer if not beyond the actual target.

  •  Tap into the motivation.  What is your why is usually going to be a large factor here.  Watch Ted Talk with Simon Sinek  to go into more depth of knowing your why.  Let’s go back to my weight loss example.  Just saying losing weight is not enough.  For example your motivation may be health reasons.  This could include your heart, joints, stomach problems, and diabetes to name a few.  You could add that you do not like the way you look, so improving your appearance could be a part of your why.  Maybe you have some clothes put away that you want to get back into.  Make sure the why is for what you want and not something like “I want to lose 50 pounds and show my boyfriend he should have never left me”  Successful goal setters know how to ask themselves the right questions about what drives them and that clarity provides the motivation to get them through those tough times.


The only way to do great work is to love what you do.   ~Steve Jobs.


  • Beat Procrastination.  We all know that procrastination is a goal killer.  Successful goal setters experience procrastination as well, but they employ tactics to overcome it.  To be great you have to get moving and keep that movement going.  I heard Michael Hyatt speak recently and he said that when he is writing a book he starts off with making file folders that are chapter names on each folder.  He does that for day one and stops.  The next day he works on the front end of the book. Next on what chapter he believes will be the easiest to write on that third day.  That type of movement gave me a real “ah ha moment.”  The very next day I did the same thing and now I am giving a release date of February 4 th as my release date for my upcoming e-book for people new to social media.  Instead of the dread I felt when I first started working on this book; I am excited and anticipating great results.  I even set a goal of having my second book release before the end of 2015.  Break that goal down into steps that might be a little uncomfortable for you to do, but not in a zone that is delusional (and therefore setting you up to fail and hurt your confidence)  For example, my husband and I are walking every day now.  Setting a goal of being a gymnast by the end of the year is unrealistic.  I am 59 and while I might be able to do some moves, chances are pretty high that I will not be a gymnast.  Be realistic, but get moving!



Making this as simplistic as possible here is how to set those goals:


  • State your intention and make it clear.  What could your goal be? Health, weight, spiritual, relationships, and of course business?  Set 7 to 10 goals and if you achieve them then set another.
  • Set a time to schedule this. Maybe you want to do it now, and maybe you feel you have to wait till the week-end.  Do not put it off until the first of February.  Put making those goals (or crafting your year) on your calendar and then do it.


  • Give yourself permission to dream. As children we are dreamers and then unfortunately we are told to be realistic and get a job.  Dream what would it be like to lose that weight? To have better health?  To have better relationships?  Recover that lost art of dreaming.  What would it be like to have what you are dreaming about?  Picture it.

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  • Identify what is at stake.  The majority of the time, God has put those dreams into our hearts and there is a stewardship for those dreams.  What happens if we choose to not work on our relationships?  What happens if we do?    Will others suffer because we did not work to achieve those dreams? How many people will you NOT be able to help by not achieving those dreams?




Give yourself a daily review of those goals.  Do not lose that visibility.

Weekly review those goals, but this time see if you need to change anything in the upcoming week to better accomplish what you have set forth to do.

Once a quarter, plan a time to really tweak those goals.  None of these steps takes a lot of time, but it does take consistency.

Science has determined it does not take 30 days to form a habit, it actually takes 66 days.  Knowing that fact it is easy to see how we could lose focus and not achieve what we want.  If need be, set up a form of accountability for yourself.   Just remember to be prepared for what that person has to say.

What happens if you are a people pleaser and this gets in the way of doing what we have set out to do?  It is actually quite simple:  You say you have another commitment and you are not able to help out.  Honor that commitment to yourself.  Really great people say no to almost everything but they still say yes to what is most important.

If you are a person that is frequently filled with uncertainty, switch that conversation that goes on in your head!  Look instead at “How can I turn this into a better situation?”  Pretend the entire universe is conspiring in your favor.  What good can come out of this?  If you cannot do this, you will be paralyzed by fear.    Sometimes you just have to ride the wave, even if that wave is a tsunami.

Enjoy your ride and working towards making this a great year!

What would you have added to either my list of characteristics of successful goal setters or to the actual goals themselves?  Please take the time to leave a comment.


#encouragement      #goals   #success    #BtheBestU

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